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  • ~Liana-Rose~15~21.9.96~
    Italian pride! Imperfections make a person beautiful so dont hide them. Dancing is the doorway to my soul! //
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coconut-desires:

love 
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caribbean-fire:

hey guys! i got selected to be in a blog of the weeeeeek (:
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nix-pixiestix:

I’m at a crossroads, perhaps even experiencing an internal tug-o-war.  I was born in the shape of a square and since birth those that have surrounded have smoothed down my sharp edges just enough to shove me through their circular perforation. It’s this time in my life that my original four-sided figure is bursting through a façade that’s been engrained within me. Although it’s a distressing experience to leave what once allowed me to blend in with those I longed to be apart of, I’m fairly certain becoming who I was meant to be will be more gratifying.
I was born into a family of circles, and in order to survive in my environment I conformed to my surroundings…much like a gecko camouflaging itself within its environment. I’m trembling within this new identity however, because it’s one that rejects the only family I’ve known. A family that has contributed in my self-destruction and low self-esteem. It’s only now, as an adult, that I must begin to question what I’ve been taught and begin to provide myself with the nurturing I craved, but was essentially denied. I’m now capable of actively rejecting the false core beliefs that were embedded within me and begin to form new, healthier, ones about myself.
This entire procedure of developing a new, and healthier, me is exhausting. I take comfort each day when I leave for program, because I know it’s a safe place, a place where what I say won’t be minimized and where my experiences are acknowledged and even empathized with. I take comfort in having meals with others that also have the same worries as myself and with a staff member to help each and every one of us conjure up the courage to finish our meals, despite and negative thoughts that may be swirling around within the confines of our minds. It’s within these walls that our own internal walls can come down, when one feels safe enough. It’s within these walls where I have also seen how much greener the other side can truly be and once you see such beauty you won’t settle for anything less than that.
I’ve tested the grounds, within this space; to make sure they’re steady enough to not break away when I’ve placed all I’ve been carrying around with me on their territory. Bit by bit I slowly allowed myself to lessen these emotional burdens, ones that others have denied to help me carry, and I’ve learned that maybe I really didn’t need to be lugging them around at all. Twenty-five years have passed with me carrying around these excess negative emotions that weigh me down, but maybe it shouldn’t be viewed as a waste of time nor should it be mourned, because it has fundamentally made me a stronger being for having been able to survive my experiences. It’s only now that I shall acknowledge my own perceptions and allow them to become apart of my history; they’ll only be the beginning chapters and not my entire story.
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co-coa-butter:

queued xx
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summer-fun-messy-bun:

lovelovelove
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